A conversation about planned giving doesn’t have to be about death. “It’s about providing ministry into the future,” said Olanda Carr, Senior Ministry Officer of the East Region for the Presbyterian Foundation.

Carr and Rev. Dr. Brandi Casto-Waters of Reid Memorial Presbyterian Church in Augusta, Ga., discussed ways to ease the process in “Having the Talk and Making the Ask,” the second of two virtual Day of Learning presentations March 29.

Rooting our giving in Scriptural messages of hope and joy is important, Carr said, because the way we handle stewardship can sometimes take the joy right out of it.

Sharing stories is important, too; the parables of Jesus still resonate for a reason.

“Tell the stories behind the bequests that are making a difference for your church today,” he urged. Share them in newsletters, emails, bulletins, at testimonials during worship, even in videos, he said. Cell phone videos are fine for this purpose, he said.

Assure members they don’t have to be rich to make a planned gift, he said. Part of what the Presbyterian Foundation does is emphasize that all gifts — of any size — are appreciated.

But do ask, Carr said. The primary reason people don’t give is that they are not asked. And be sure to say thank you.

Getting giving right

Casto-Waters said she has always appreciated the old saying, “Stewardship is everything we do after we say, ‘I believe.’”

That includes joyful planned giving but also regular giving which, she said, may not always be as joyful as it could be.

That point was driven home when her teenage daughters, after serving as ushers one Sunday, suggested eliminating the offering. Taken aback, Casto-Waters asked them why. The solemn passing of the plates, with no one making eye contact, seemed more like a funeral, the girls told her.

While the offering still stands, the conversation inspired their mother to encourage parishioners to look at the ushers and one another — and maybe even smile — during the offering.

Great conversations can happen around planned gifts, she and Carr agreed. Just the week before, Casto-Waters thanked a parishioner for a gift in honor of his mother. She listened to him talk, with tears in his eyes, about his mother’s commitment to Christian education. Church leaders can learn a great deal “if we can get quiet and listen to what people feel called to honor “with their gifts,” she said.

Surprises happen, too. Upon the passing of an elderly parishioner who’d lived in a modest home, Casto-Waters was astounded to learn she’d left generous gifts to the church and three other organizations. “No one had any idea,” she said. “I was never able to thank her but we did offer God thanks and praise for her generosity.

More tips for good talks

Casto-Waters had a few more insights to offer about demonstrating and encouraging stewardship:

• Educational offerings on end-of-life planning, parenting, and financial literacy can be good entry points for discussing planned giving.
• Be willing to talk about money, including your own giving. “We should never ask our people to do something we’re not willing to do ourselves.”
• When making the ask, be direct and specific. Casto-Waters said she received such a request herself from another organization and appreciated the approach.
• Have a plan when you’re making the ask, but “be open to where the spirit might lead you.
• Be as grateful for the $20 bill left with a scribbled note on your desk — a teenager’s babysitting money — as the $500,000 bequest. Gifts come in all shapes and sizes and we are called to give God thanks for each and every one of them.